What dreams may come..

As I walked into the room I couldn't help noticing her face as she lay silently asleep. I hoped it was a sound sleep; coz I could make out it wasn't a pleasant one. The only word to describe the expression of the still face is - agony.

I looked a little closely, and I realized her lashes were blacker, not with some color but with moisture. The pink flowers on the pillow were a shade darker where her face rested, guessed they must have been sprinkled aplenty, because they were still struggling to absorb all the salt and water that came their way.

Her eyelids were bordering a deep shade of purple, could be from pain, or bruised by sharp edges of dreams that broke and floated around in her eyes, as a punishment for having conceived them in the first place.

I prayed to heavens above that she'd get a dreamless quite sleep tonight, because the day ahead wasn't going to offer her any better. Sleep was her only escape and a chance to revive some faith.

Dreamless sleep or sleepless dream, which is a better bet? The later is ecstatic but the former it at least not agonizing. . .

The Windchime

"I don't want be alone for the rest of my life."

"Is that a question or a statement?"

"Why would it be a question?"

"Coz you are the one who brought us here. Are you feeling guilty?"

"Sadly, I have no remorse."

"How ironic."

Ridhi turned and left. She was the one who felt remorse, she was the one facing a lifetime of loneliness ahead of her. She was the one whose beliefs were broken beyond repair. She was the one, who was being left behind. She was the one who tried, she was the one who lost.
And the only reason he gave her was - "I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life."

Ironic indeed, his fear of loneliness, and she was forced to live it through.

Sometimes it takes a lifetime to build one relationship, and sometimes it takes up all that is alive.

Sameer, was just a passing breeze, but he uleashed a storm in her life. And she spends a long time picking up the pieces . . . . everyday.

Direct Dil Se

"How much I wish, he was here tonight"; Meera turned in her bed, feeling very lonely all of a sudden, in the middle of the night.

"Could you please go a little easy on me for a while", she addressed her next thought to the Lord.

But then when do gods listen at such a short notice, she reminded herself. And turned another way trying to find at least one warm corner on that bed.

And the phone beeped...
"Who the hell is it at this hour"; she felt talking to herself might kill at least some loneliness.

"Awake?" that's all Sameer had asked.

But it spread such a smile, and surprise on her face !!
She didn't know whether to respond first or call back asap. Somehow she managed to key in some characters and press the Send button. And then the phone rang in full bloom...

"I guess I woke u up." Meera couldn't help saying.

"Why, I thought I had my own reasons to take a break from dreams", Sameer responded, before he went on and explained how and why he got up, and just thought of checking up on her, before dozing back again.

"I ll sound like a sissy if I try explaining" Meera thought and kept the thought to herself.

They spoke or a few minutes and then bade good night.
The bed didn't feel cold any longer, there was a new warmth all around her bed, and her heart. It was like she just re-visited the reason that brought warmth to her life too.

"I actually pulled off the sheets, and ran to the pooja room to light agarbatti and thank God for His 'one-off' such an immediate response last night.", she told me next morning when narrating the whole incident.
"I had to fight back tears when talking to him, coz I had never imagined there could ever be hearts that would connect so strongly and perfectly", and I blessed her.

There was no stopping her that morning, and listening to her I thought,
"May be she will get to me to believe in soul mates some day."

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna

Something told her, it was the beginning of the end, yet she was not ready to accept it.
And somehow, he knew it too. . .as he always knew everything.

Her tears were uncontrollable that night, even when she knew he hated to see her cry.
He couldn't see it, she cried soundlessly in the dark. But something made him slide his hand upto her eyes. . .looking for those tell-tale signs.

"What's wrong with you?" ; He sounded more concerned than irritated.
"I don't know." ; She had never felt so helpless before.

What she didn't know was where to gather the courage from to start to tell him her story.

Just as always, help came from the enemy himself. . .he named it for her.
Now at least they could talk about it, once the skeleton was out of the closet.

"How come we never went to the beach?"
"Let's go next time." . . . . when they both knew there might not be a next time.

They reasoned, tried to rationalize, some more tears, and so many truths accepted at both ends, and some conveniently avoided, lots said and lot more unsaid. . .but one thing they didn't say was . . . goodbye.

'Coz they didn't want to.
Life is unpredictable, what if we meet again. They left the pieces decent enough to be picked up, IF, they had to someday.

They parted as friends.

Pizza party !

"I have stopped feeling - I live life kinda numb."
What sounded like a casual over-the-pizza statement to him, made me open my eyes wide in wonder.

"How do you do that? And what good does it bring?"

"Well, it's not something I ve consciously done, it become such - call it a defense mechanism from all hurts, coz anything deep and meaningful had the potential to hurt, and hurt bad."

"But wouldn't it also mean the joys are felt to a lesser intensity, as if from a distance?"

"Yes, there are but two sides to a coin."

"But what about the passion in life? Making every day, every moment count?"

"And what about the price I ve paid for those days and moments?"
I didn't have an answer to that one.....I know life's been a bitch to him, to us all.

He tried giving me some gyan too....
"You can't have your cake and eat it too.
If you want to eat it, u will not have it. And if u want to keep it, don't ever try to eat it."

"Crap!"

"Ha ha ha, don't worry, you don't have to know it till u get there. I wouldn't want you to get there, but I know, stopping you would be a sure shot way of making you run for it."

"So? What should I do?"

"Live."

"But then I ll feel."

"Yes you would."

"And then I ll get hurt."

"Absolutely......"; I could see the faint hint of smile there.

"And then I ll make myself go numb."

"See, everything can be talked over a pizza!"

Breaking Rules

[time to write]

She was living in days - hours, to be precise. Had long ago given up thinking or planning or waiting in weeks and days too.

And then he asked her out.

"This weekend" he had said - she couldn't help but laugh at it. She knew, or thought she knew, just too well, what happens in a matter of few days.
Insistent he had been - all men are initially. They probably feel they have a divine right to be so, and hence over ages women have cultivated a habit or saying 'No' to everything, coz they know, eventually it won't matter one way or the other. At least it would let them throw a few tantrums around.

But she hadn't had time to think all that. Didn't I say before, she lived in too small spaces to allow thinking.

So they had a date.

"I like making it difficult for you."
"Why?" He was oh so curious.
"Just to make sure you work hard."

They both had a mind of their own. And she knew, or again thought she knew, it would burn out - fast. Her only fear was - what if it did not? Then again, no thinking rule helped her through.
Yet she couldn't help looking back - well the rule didn't extrapolate so well for thinking backwards - and not think of fingers entwined. The tips were a pressure point, caresses electrified.

"I need to stop thinking backwards too", said a voice in her head.

Yet cracks had started appearing beneath the surface, she could faintly hear them but categorically decided not to explore - for it still let her disbelieve. She was looking forward to the next weekend.

"It is less than a week - so I ve still maintained the rule".
...she tried not to worry...





"I ll be gone for a month," he said the next day.

Maya

It was just another spring night. Cool breeze and a clear moon, a perfect night to drive around. Beside that Sudhir has little choice.
"I could explore a little , find some quite corner off the road, and maybe just one smoke". Sudhir had been trying to quite for four years now, but either a night like this, or one like that made him go back.

"It will go with you to your grave", his wife often lamented.
Anyway, today was not a day to think about it.
So he set out, a little off the beaten track, and decided to explore the roads that were a little quieter. But it is easy to lose way around country roads on such nights, of course Sudhir realized it late.

Had he been speeding, he would have definitely missed her. She was walking slowly, inconspicuously and quite off the road. She turned slightly when she saw the car's headlights approaching.
Sudhir wasn't too sure, yet he slowed almost to a halt -
"Are your alone lady? Do you need any help?" maybe he was sounding cliched, but then what is one supposed to say when offering help to a young lady all alone in the middle of the night. He just hoped she wouldn't misunderstand him.

She looked questioningly at him, but then almost instantly smiled. Sudhir couldn't detect whether there was relief or pleasure in that mysterious smile.

"I 'de be grateful, if you could drop me near the main road."

"Sure, but I am a little lost myself, do you know the way from here?"

"Yes, I do."

"Get in" said Sudhir as he opened the door for her.

Sudhir wasn't sure if she was beautiful, but definitely intriguing. He couldn't help thinking as he stole a look or two.

"It's not safe to walk alone on a deserted road like this."

"I am not afraid." Her voice had a raw courage.

"Just take care, it is pretty bad these days."
She nodded slightly, looking down all the while.

Maybe he had sounded too patronizing Sudhir thought, besides what this young lady does is none of his business. So he thought of changing the topic a little.
"Take the next left please," she said before him.

Yet curiosity got better of him again. She was half his age even less probably, and she was beautiful - oops intriguing. The night was quite pleasant, the silence in the car was straining, and he could do with a little chat.

"Where are you coming from at this hour?"

"Got late at work."

"Do you always travel alone?"

"Yes."

"And your folks don't worry?" he couldn't help thinking of his own daughter at the moment.

"No. I know this place well."

"How long have you lived here?"

"All my life."

"I am relatively new, as you can see I lost my way."

"Where are you coming from?" her question caught Sudhir a little by surprise. He hadn't thought of where he was coming from, nor where he was going to.
In a moment of honesty he just blurted, "I was just driving around, exploring."

She smiled, and the mood seemed to lighten a bit.

"Why?" she asked next.
Her eyes were innocently questioning, yet her voice had a hint of motherly concern.
Again Sudhir could not feign an excuse.

"I am disillusioned with life," he was almost shocked at his own confession, "but then probably that's what happens to most my age" he added as an afterthought.

"I don't think age has got anything to do with being disillusioned. I 've lost the illusions of life myself."

Sudhir couldn't help wondering what her story was. Nor could he help wondering what if he could stroke her hair and let her cry on his shoulder. Caress her a little more then.....she was young, beautiful and alone....."Right please" she disturbed his train of thoughts.

"Drop me here" she said after a few miles.

"Here? In the middle of nowhere?"

"My home is just off this road, through that path" she said pointing to a small hidden lane on the right.

Reluctant, yet fearing propriety, he pulled to the left of the road.
"Keep going straight, and take the right from junction. You will soon reach the main road."

"Thanks. Good night" he said.

"Good night" she smiled.

"One last glance should not hurt; afterall who gets to have such encounters often" thought Sudhir. He lifted his eyes to check her in the rearview mirror.

And he saw only an empty moonlit road.

Sunbeams

[An exercise in writing....something I havent done in a long time.]

"Are you sleepy?"
"Noooooooooooo."

That extended "No" was the kind which actually meant - "Damn, I am so sleepy, but don't u assume u know it".
Did she think Chetan won't know? She hoped at least.

"I feel like having some coffee. You?"
"Sure."

Chetan left for the kitchen, hoping she doesn't dose off in the next ten minutes. Her eyes were loaded, and yet she wouldn't go to bed. He didn't want her to either.

He set a record in instant coffee making, but by the time he got back, Priya's eyes were tight shut. [sigh]

He rested the mugs down on the table, and decided to decide what to do next. Just then he realised Priya's head was almost falling off to the left. Moving without realizing, he put his right palm to support. And then looked around for a cushion.

"Damn, it is never at hand when needed", he swore at the classy magenta cushions mocking him from across the divan.

A desire rose in his heart, which he was too afraid to acknowledge at first. Slowly, with every moment added a bit of courage , he neared the couch, all the while careful not to move his hand, very uncomfortably managed to settle himself next to her.
With a kind of fear and excitement one feels when holding a newborn for the first time - fearing it's delicacy yet excited at the thought of holding it - Chetan gently lowered her head on his shoulder and stretched his arm along the edge.

Instantaneously, her fragrance filled him. And he prayed she would stay asleep.

But when does devil leave the cupid alone?
Commercial break - and suddenly the TV blared into a loud jingle. Chetan almost suffered a heart attack.
An eternity seemed to have passed fanatically looking around, before he realized that even the remote was one of the cushion's accomplices today.

"Damn", he mumbled behind clenched teeth.

And then he waited. Counted.....ten......twenty......fifty.......eighty four, eighty five......
Only then did his breath started a descend to normalcy.
"Maybe I ll survive this night after all."

Time was moving very leisurly, and for once his restless soul was glad about it. After a while he sensed a numbness setting in over his right arm, he hadn't moved it all the while. He dared not.
The stillness of the night was broken only by the flickering images on the TV and the abstracts sounds of the moving images. But after a while they ceased to be a part of Chetan's universe. He had transcended into a different world - a world of dreams.

.
.
.
.

Priya almost woke up shocked with the blaring sound of TV, but Chetan sat so still that she dared not move. His face was hidden from her view, but she wouldn't turn to sneak a peep, for fear of waking him up. Was she secretly praying to stay that way all night? C'mon, who has ever known a woman's heart.
.
.
.

The dawn came slowly crawling through the folds of the curtains, and birds chirpily nudged each other trying to catch a glimpse through the window. I wanted to ask them why all this hyper activity - but then they had had a good night's sleep.

Crash & Burn

Sameer fixed his eyes on a distant object and kept walking on. An eye contact would be painful, hurting, a reminder of his own failure. After all it was she who had started the process. She was the one who turned bitter and and decided to forego all courtesy.


They were in love, or so they thought, till Sameer realized it was a parasitic relationship. He did not want to be here - so why was he here? Quitting was not easy; it was tougher than he had anticipated.
She made it so.

Those conversations were blaming, those mails were bitter and those messages shocking rude. She, he realized, was not who he had thought her to be. She came across as someone incapable of accepting life, of moving on. She wanted to play a victim, and she did it good. But it only disgusted Sameer - with himself.

She was looking for someone to blame, hurt and smear. What she said and what she did made no connection at all. He mistrusted her more and more with every passing day. Till all patience ran out, and he lost his cool. He hated for having being so - even if just once, but there wasn't really a choice. So he accepted. But she, was still withering in her past and self created pain.

And what a pathetic sight it was.

Sameer wanted not to see, felt a little guilty too till some point in time. He tried - in earnest, but the tabloidic melodrama was too piquant for her to give up. Eventually he realized that it is not his fault if somebody refuses to live. That day he quit - Completely.

He had a life - but a life that could have been, and which refused to be - saddened him. He felt pity, and it was a nauseating emotion to feel.

Things were sad today; no speaking terms, no civility either. He was aware of the raised eyebrows around, but it didn't bother him anymore. He realized he hadn't really known her till they parted, and he was not pleased with what he saw.
Crisis brings out the best or worst in people - whatever their true selves be.

And now, he was only glad that it was not meant to be.

A moment in time

Late again.
It no longer irritated Kathy, it amused her. She has in fact begun to look forward to these delays. And his excuses - his ingeniously hilarious excuses.

It gave her a peaceful moment to think, collect, recollect. In the frenzy of life, running around from dusk to dawn, this small time she was forced to take out to wait for him, had begun to be the serenest moments of her day.

And she would be amused at where her thoughts would travel in these respites. She traveled back to her childhood often, sometimes to her naughty kid antics, sometimes to her lousy foolish teens, sometimes to just a few years ago, when she had met Ron, sometimes to just last night or today morning.
And past travel was not all, she traveled in future too. A few hours to a few years to a few decades too sometimes.

Present wasn't that bad either, the light of the sun in these last of it's hours was mesmerizing.

"It plays such tricks on your hair" Ron would often say.

"I wish I could see it through your eyes."

There were things she had noticed in these spaces, she had never seen before. People she had observed, beauty she had found. And music.
Oh! She had come to love this time with herself.

She shot a quick glance at her watch; the half an hour was over. Ten more minutes and her exasperation would begin. And somehow just before that Ron will materialize, as if waiting around somewhere just to pop up precisely before she decides to get up and go. She almost caught herself laughing aloud at the thought.

...

Ron often wondered what her thoughts were in these moments. She has the beautifullest of smiles and contentest of expressions. And sometimes she would laugh out aloud!!
But her half an hour was up, and it was time for him to pack up.

"Okai, it's almost done....but I ll let her wait tomorrow too, coz she has come to cherish this quiet time of her own", thought Ron as he packed in his painting brushes and walked to his car.

"The sunlight does play tricks on her hair....and my heart too."

Masterpiece

Asked which of his works would he select as his masterpiece, architect Frank Llyod Wright at the age of 83 replied "My Next One"

He wrote, and rewrote pages after pages, but like all those before them they landed only in the dustbin. Some that missed the bin, decorated the floor. But none really hit the nail anyway.
"Wish I was a writer, at least then words would have flown easily".

Writing his first love letter had been easier than this. And so many subsequent ones after that.

But writing to her was so tough.
She was the his favourite gal, even above his wife. And she had specifically asked him to write to her. He had tried expaling it to her, that it was but a short business trip and that he would be back even before the letter reach her, yet she had insisted. Oh, she was so stubborn but he loved her strong head. She made him work hard, and he was glad to have her in his life.

"Anything for you sweetie" and he promised to write a real letter.

They talked everyday, and everyday she reminded him that she was still waiting for "the letter". He would promise of writing one over and over again, and yet, nothing really came out.

He wanted to pour out his heart to her, talk to her about his life, his failures, his hopes, his dreams.... coz she would listen, she wouldn't judge, she would love him and love him dear, inspite of all his incompitencies and inconsistencies.

His flight home was due in a week, now he had to write and post a letter soon....

Where to begin...what to write to her...how does one write a letter...to his seven years old daughter?



Yet another hit the bin....

Ocean's Pearl

Found this piece scribbled in a long lost corner....
I am not too sure if I like it, yet am posting it, coz I 've kinda mixed feeling towards it. I dont feel like it's author, yet I can't really tear it up....

Teri galiyon se babasta hai dil ka sukoon
Humara afsana ishq mein tere ban gaya junoon...

"Only actresses can remain sexy and desirable forever. I am on the wrong side of thirty with no more takers in the marriage market, my dear."
Jenny wasn't bitter; she was just stating a fact.

But Prakash could not be convinced. He had known her, admired her, respected her too long, to even remotely believe that. And he had seen her grow up.

Jenney was sweet, with a twinkle in her eyes, and a life full of ambitious plans. But she was wary of the "love" word. She had tried her hand at the fire (that's how she loved to put it), and had known many men casually and intimately, more in the prime of her youth and dwindling with time and age.

Her parents had given up on her, less because she would eventually refuse every guy they suggested, more because they could no longer find guys to fix her up on a date with. If parents held out so long, it is easy to imagine, when friends and well wishers would have resigned.

Jenny believed that interesting men had not crossed her way, and it had maybe an ounce of truth in it. She was too smart for most, unapproachable for the rest, and the tiny minority remaining were either taken, or too contrary to her taste.

"I 'll look out for a married hunk, or a college cutie now." She joked often.

There were things she had never figured out. Why had she not found her Mr.Right? And for that, was there ever a Mr.Right?

"Ah, Jenny, get a life!" she would say to herself, whenever these thoughts started to knock.

Prakash was concerned. He knew the pains of a lonely life, even without ever having to hear it from her. Freedom and no strings attached were the brighter side, but there was more to such a life than caught the eye.

Coming back home to nobody - and he would not feel like coming back at all. He made all the money and he did all the work, coz he was the only one left to finish it, when everyone else had gone back to their nests.
And the worst he believed was waking up on a cold and lonely bed.

He would worry for Jenny.

"Your parents wouldn't be around forever, I wouldn't be around forever; and passing years don't add but take from a life, more so when u don't have a source of replenishing it."

"But what if I marry, and it doesn't work out, whatever be the reasons, human or divine. I 'll be a sad old grumpy woman then. At least I am not sad and grumpy now!!
And if you are talking about kids, [sigh] look around. How much of support or company are they to their parents.

And by the way, which century are you living in anyway?"

"Yeah right, you always make me an old man, though I never feel younger than with you."

Fourteen years wasn't that big a gap, or maybe it was.

"Prakash, get a life!"

......and thus went their often repeated mid-afternoon conversation. It had been a Saturday regular for quite some time now. They sat facing the sea, talking, till silence overtook the eloquence of words.

They seem like two lonely souls to you?
The sea told me - they were happiest this way.

Made for each other

Walking in the mild drizzle, carefully avoiding as many puddles as possible, humming a long forgotten tune, Neha was thinking about her day today. It had been pretty average, well almost. She thought and a faint smile came across her face.

It had become so frequent that she no longer considered it a compliment. She had been asked out again, and she had refused again. Eventually she would say yes, but not the first time. "I wouldn't say a yes so easily", Neha reminded herself.

A little about Neha - she was pretty and pretty smart too. Her innocent looks never gave away her intelligence, which had bothered her initially, but soon she learnt to milk the situation to her advantage.

Suddenly her thoughts turned to Amit, and the faint smile vanished. Amit had been her boyfriend for the last four year, and things had been pretty steady between them, until recently.

"Cant you just enjoy the rain", she scolded herself.

A little about Amit - he was a sweet boy-next-door kinds. But he had aspirations, and worked really hard to fulfill them. He was patient, and discreet, and people never knew his plans till he had seen them to execution.

"You 've been in the same job too long, you should change" Neha coaxed often.

But Amit had sense to wait for the right time and the right move. He believed in earning his every reward.

But Neha wasn't so patient. She wanted to get everywhere fast. She had come to despise Amit for being so slow. She had begun to wonder whether he ll ever make it big. Though he assured her that he was working toward it, she didn't see any buzz. Bottomline, she was earning more than him, and the beauty in their relationship had suddenly disappeared.

She was carefully putting the last touches to her makeup, when her roommate Rohini walked in.

"Oh what a tiring day", and she collapsed on the bed.

Then realizing Neha's presence, observed, "You going somewhere?"

"Yeah. Partying tonight."

"Oh ho! Amit haan!"

"No. A friend." And now Rohini sat up

"I see. You seem to be going out with a lot of friends these days. Does Amit know?"

"No. And now don't start another lecture for god's sake."

"I thought u guys are seeing each other."

"I don't enjoy with him any more."

Rohini raised an eyebrow, "you never felt so till now".

"That was aeons ago, we were college kids. But we don't fit together any more. He is too relaxed. Sort of losing out on life. Winning is the only thing that matters.
Now don't spoil my evening." Neha was starting to get irritated.

"Where are you going?" enquired Rohini, in an attempt to change the topic.

"Oberoi's" Neha winked.

"And Amit could never take u there." Rohini couldn't help commenting.
"So what do I say if he calls?"

"Say I had a headache, and slept early" shrugged Neha, and left.

(My initial idea was to end the story here. But the flow took control....)

"Am so sorry Amit, but Neha had a terrible headache, and she retired kinda early. I ll tell her to call you first thing in the morning." Rohini tried to sound as earnest as she could.

"No probs."

Amit was a little disappointed. He had wanted to share this special day with her. It was a big leap indeed. Bigger than he had imagined, or hoped for. But he would surprise her later, he had a lot to do right now.

Taking in the grandeur of the ambience, Amit couldn't help feeling excited. His peers and seniors were all partying here, and he was feeling the life beckoning already. He thought of coming back the next week, with his few special friends and of course Neha. Five start weren't out of his reach anymore.

High with the intoxication of success and alcohol, and he imagined he saw Neha. Then looked again. It was her indeed, and there was this guy too.........

The high in his head took a sudden plunge; Neha's headaches had been a bit too frequent of late, and he realized this just now.

Amit smiled (or maybe smirked) "Another beer please".

RED

There was something in the night...all were going berserk! Maybe it could be blamed on the music, but then it was one of the best things that night, so it seems kinda unfair to blame it at all.

M: Oh my god, I ve lost my new lipstick and compact!
S : What?
M: Yeah, I searched everywhere. It's not there. Am sure must have lost it last night. But where and how the hell did I lose it?
S : Is everything else in place, I mean ur money and stuff?
M: Yeah that all is there, strange....... y would somebody wld steal my makeup stuff of all.
S : ....ummm. Funny really. Is it possible that it fell off in the car?
M: Could be, why don't u call him up and ask.
S : Okay I ll do it, don't worry.
M: How the hell not to worry, it had cost me a whole lot of money!!

........and so went on the whining over the lost lipstick, but none was prompt enough to call and find out if the stuff was in the car.

R : Hey did any of u ppl leave ur makeup stuff in the car?
S : Oh yes, M was about to call u. She has been looking for it all day.
R : Even I didn't realize it was there. Actually it was a friend's car, and his wife found it in the morning. Poor chap he is on the verge of his divorce. Pray for him.
S : Hey but what about t stuff, can we get it back?
R : I ll see if I can retrieve something, maybe she has thrown it away.
S: Just try and see what you can do. And I ll surely pray for your friend.

........and the same is conveyed to M.

M : What, she has thrown away my stuff. But how ll I ever replace it.
S : C'mon, you r worried about ur makeup! Just imagine ur lipstick can be the reason of a divorce. Think how will u cope with such a guilt.
M : Bullshit. I haven't seen such an insecure wife. And if she had to divorce him - she will anyway, but who ll pay for my makeup?

..........and the joke went on.

M : So how is your friend. I hope the storm has subsided now.
R : Yaa, the poor chap slept at my place last night.
M : Hmmm.....

.........didn't think it right to ask about her lipsticks at this instant.

And so the questions remain......

1. How can a wife be so insecure? She knew her husbands friends had taken the car, and still she made all that fuss?

2. What a stupid husband? Does he inspire no confidence in his wife?

3. Poor M. She didn't do anything, and yet she might have to take all (or some) of the blame?

4. Can a silly lipstick be the reason of a divorce?

5. And most importantly, will M get her stuff back?


And some observations made.......

1. Some of the strongest relations rest on weakest foundations.

2. Everybody worries only about their own toothache. Let the world go to hell....

3. Procrastination hurts.

4. Never underestimate the power of a lipstick.


Such is life.........and it goes on.

SOMETHING TO EAT

They were walking hand in hand, happier than any body around, oblivious to everybody around. And in their hearts they both thanked that Mumbai is such a busy and crowded city. 
 
"The best thing about a place like Mumbai is that no one knows you. Had we been in a smaller place, we would certainly have run into one of your dad's friends."  Sunil said.
Ria giggled, and sighed, and was relieved.
 
A couple of minutes later..... 
 
"You saw that guy we just passed. " he mumbled. 
 
"The one talking on a cell? " she enquired. 
 
"Yaa. He was my senior."

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"Lets skip dinner today. We can sit and talk a little longer. Besides am not really hungry." Ria sounded quite confidednt, and she guessed it was almost the truth.
"Are you sure?" Sunil tried to confirm. "Honestly I wont insist on a dinner, coz even I want to keep talking", he confessed.
 
So they let the though of dinner pass, and gained one more hour in the process. 
 
"Alright  time to get back home now." Ria said when the clock struck 11.
"You sure aren't hungry?" Sunil asked again.
"Not at all. Now stop bothering."
 
And as soon as she got back home, the first thing she did was grab the telephone. Furiously dialed Sunil's number...........ring.........ring.......... 
 
"Yes sweetheart?" he answered. Ria could almost see him smiling. She frowned, then smiled. 
 
"I want to have pasta tomorrow" Ria said.
  
"As you wish, I had already decided on the restaurant."

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"You duck, you have been forgetting my birthday for the last three years. This time I ll remember to forget yours" Ria said purposefully.
And with a twinge of guilt, she realized she actually wanted to be vindictive.  
 
"My birthday is next month, and we are gonna be roommates then. Sorry dear, but you don't have a chance this time." Reva replied, not looking up, still fiddling with the card she was filling up.

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"Thank you" Sunil smiled at the secretary as she handed him the final documents. 
 
"Now I am gonna have a better job, better pay and a better boss." Sunil raised a toast as he partied with his friends that night. 
 
"Oh cmon man, how can u be so sure you ll have a better boss this time?" Varun teased. He was well aware how much Sunil hated his last boss. 
 
"Kirshnamurthy is the worst boss in the world. And no matter how bad the next one may be, he can not equal this guy. That's the common knowledge in the industry here." And took a big gulp of his beer, definitely thanking his stars. 
 
"So Sunil which company are you joining?" Nikhil enquired. 
 
"Torpedo Systems. I am gonna be in the testing division." said a proud Sunil. 
 
"Not under that fella Khanna, are you?" came the next question. 
 
"Sure. It's him. A very nice guy. You know him?" Sunil was surprised. 
 
"Even I used to think so, till I worked for him. I think Kirshnamurthy is much better." Nikhil shrugged, and Sunil's beer turned sour. 
 

OUT OF ORDER

"God please get my call through, please please" Ana murmured under her breath as she desperately tried Sam’s number for the eleventh time that evening.

It had been a year since she had last talked to him, and she somehow hoped just talking to him would give her some answer. Mike was a nice guy, at least he seemed so, he did show quite a lot of interest in her. She didn’t really know what to feel. Should she accept life today even if slightly imperfect , or forever hold out for that one elusive ray of hope. Sam was just a friend, and Mike wanted to be more than a friend.

"Alright, this is the last time I ll try. If I get through this time and hear his voice, I ll know if I still love him, and if I don't then probably that's what god wants....I ll move on."
Ana hardened herself, drew a deep breath and dialed the number.

Still no answer.

Two days later she got a mail from Sam, saying he came to know that she had called Selina to get his number, thanked her for the ecard she had sent on his birthday, and explained that she could not have got the line through coz his phone was out of order.

"Who cares anymore", Ana shrugged.

Things with Mike didn't work out. He wasn't all that nice he had seemed. And now Ana sometimes wondered how could she have turned so blind an eye to all his follies. How could she have chosen such a sure shot path to doom. Was it her anger against Sam that made her do all that? Three years and two more broken relationships later, Ana still didn't know where Sam stood in her life.

Ana is sitting across the table from Sam, sipping coffee, they are chatting like old college friends, and these memories cross her mind. Ana wonders again what this guy means in her life.
"Will I love him, or anyone ever again? Had I got him on line that day, would it have been different? How different?" She is lost in her thoughts, but Sam doesn’t notice, she is still chatting quite animatedly.

"Had I got her on line that day, would it have been different?" Sam is thinking.

THE MATCH

Hardly a week had passed since they officially became a couple. It wasn’t all music and romance but it was a nice feeling, and they both felt different – happy and complete. Since it had been a busy workday for him, and she had to stay home coz her roommate had fallen ill, they had decided to meet just for a coupe of hours that thurdsay.

The evening glided past beautifully, as it does for all young people in love. And now that the moments to drop her back home were coming close, Sid was getting restless. He didn’t want her to go so soon, but also knew there was no way he could make her stay longer. Besides, he wanted her to reach home in time. Responsibility was something they were both very well aware of.

Naina allowed herself to play kid sometimes. She begged Sid to find ways to stop time, she asked him to play nasty and make her late; and she did all this coz she knew just too well that he would do none of it.

When they were barely a kilometer from her room, Naina asked him to park his bike by the superstore and walk her home. Walking with him in the moonlight always rejuvenated her like nothing else. Thankfully hers wasn’t a very crowded area, and the road was quite and cool. Her request was something he could not and would not refuse, coz holding her hand, holding her round the shoulder, around her waist, walking in sync with her, was something he believed he could keep doing. I wouldn’t say “forever”, coz “forever” Sid thought was Naina’s favorite word. He never told me what he felt about it, but I think that the word must have knocked on his thoughts sometimes. But they were just beginning into a relationship and Sid wanted to give it all the time, so he didn’t let “forever” intrude too often.

As for Naina, she was just like any other girl, and girls usually do think too much too soon. But she was also a lady. She knew what to say and what to keep inside. She knew Sid’s fears and wanted to give him all the time. So she didn’t let “forever” intrude too often either.

Walking together thinking , and sharing thoughts, they heard all these crackers bursting around. Both stopped for a while, and then laughed. India must have won the match, and hence all this celebration. And Naina wondered aloud, “I am not a big cricket freak, but I make it a point to follow all our matches with Pakistan. They are always so interesting.”
To this Sid replied “ I am usually the kind to follow every ball of every match”. They accepted that their priorities had changed lately and walked on with a shrug!

The road was but too short. Sid dropped her off and started walking back on that road alone. Lost deep in thoughts, he was walking when sounds in the ground to the right distracted him. A bunch of boys were playing cricket there in the night. He stopped to watch. He hadn’t stopped consciously, only after a few minutes he realized that he hasn’t moved for a while. And then a sudden urge took over him, and he started walking towards them. Got closer, and soon he was a part of their game.

Sid, with whom Naina never had to look at her watch coz she knew he would always take care of the time, forgot how long he had been there.

And then his mobile buzzed, it was Naina’s sms, wishing him good night with the three golden words. He smiled. Bid his new pals good bye, and started the rest of the walk back to the supermarket.

“Probably forever isn’t that bad a word after all”, he was thinking.