We, The People

Early in the morning, people are usually best at thought. Haven't you heard of all those afterthoughts and reflections and realizations and non-realizations and doubts and second thoughts that pop up in the early hours of morning? Maybe there is something in the air; or that which we cloak off in the dark of the night, reveals itself stark naked in the morning light.

Whatever, the thing is, a thought that gets grip of me in those hours, stays; and demands an action. It cld be a piece of writing, a job to be done, or just a call to be made. It feels like a call from the subconscious, and it cannot be ignored.

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Today I was thinking of Seema (name changed to protect privacy). She is happy, a bit too happy, coz she is getting married to her dream man. Really? I wonder, coz that dream has a lot of arrangements that I personally would not agree to her doing.
But at this moment, or for that matter ever, I have to let her live, the way she chooses to, or is chosen for her.

I ve always known her as someone with talent and potential unharnessed. After her masters she had to sit at home and was not allowed to work! Educated parents, educated relatives - though I wonder if education is being wrongly used as a synonym for literacy - but the gal cant work coz;
"Log kya kahenge?"

At such moments I needed to shake myself up and question - which age and generation we are living in?

"You have no idea, the kind of comments our community will make.
They ll probably presume that the family is not doing well financially, that is why the girl has to work." Seema would often tell me.

Now can you believe that - I could not!

"But you have so much of education and all that degrees, will you just let it go waste?"
"Dunno, maybe if my future husband is open to the idea, I might work."

Dunno? Maybe? I found those words offendingly not acceptable.

When her marriage was fixed, this was the first question I was dying to ask her. So after all the mandatory questioning and teasing which only close friends have the liberty and comfort of, I finally popped the question a little cautiously.

"I haven't talked to him about it, but I don't think he would like it much."
My jaw dropped.
"But what are you gonna do after marriage? You don't even have household work to keep you busy? At least you could give him a hand in business". I confess, I shamelessly tried putting that thought in her head.

"But they (father and son) are already working, and I don't know if they would want or need one more person to join in", and she was pretty cool about it, where I was getting anxious.
I wanted to say ?
"Babe, u are too much in the euphoria of love right now, but what when this tide recedes?"

The conversation progressed some more, and I was almost sleepy till she said something like
"I ve cut myself off from all my male friend. I know he won't like it."
"What? Why? But they are your friends too just like your gal pals?"

Now her future husband is presumably a well educated, well groomed urban Indian male. And he wouldn't like to know that his wife has a healthy friendship with guys in her school or college nor would like it if she keeps in touch with them post her wedding.

Again, which century are we living in?

The same, comes the answer from somewhere in my mind. It is just the uglier face of it, which I hadn't seen so close before.
We have all the hypocrisy, all the double standards thriving and flourishing. What did you think; a college degree can make a huge difference to the life of an Indian female? Btw, Seema is not a middle class small a town girl.
She commands all modern luxuries sans the right to a viewpoint.

She, and her likes, still operate from ideas prehistoric (yeah, I get dramatic at times), and most often it is not really their fault. They are made to confirm to norms laid down by parents, community, society, future and then present husbands. Or be called a rebel if they ever think of questioning it.

They are taught to think, and then told to shut up.

Educating a girl child is not enough, empowering her is. I know of ladies, who - because they had had the empowerment from their father's or husband's families - made exemplary lives even in pre-independence India.

Then, why is not Seema entitled to her bit of fresh air?




Something's gotta give.....that bird deserves to fly,
A cage of gold.... will not make a worthy life.