I keep visiting my blog from time to time - and in the last few (..oops lots of few) months the only thing I ve done is change templates, admin, privacy settings and everything cosmetic every once in a while.
And I wonder y - i keep giving myself all sorts of excuses, lack of time, lack of creative inspiration (yeah, like I am some M.F.Husain), lack of privacy, and this and that and what not.
The truth - even i don't really know - bcoz I haven't made the effort to sit and think, and honestly i am just too lazy to do it even now. Anyway the two things that i feel have contributed most are - am impatient mind, and the fear of too many prying eyes, now that I have removed the pseudonyms etc.
I ve even toyed with the idea of having another blog - a proper one, one more suitable to the more mature me... coz honestly there are some entries in this web journal, that when I read after 10 years, are silly and embarrassing.
So, me posting here is a sign that i have decided not to do that - not really. I am on a journey I like to think. I am in a new decade of my life and mayb its a cyclic thing where I have to rediscover myself again. Like cleaning a closet - figure out what I still hold dear, what is irrelevant, admire some and wish I could still fit into it, and look at others and wonder - what the hell was I thinking?
So lets see where it goes........for now I am happy enough just to sit and write something, rather than just toy with ideas in my mind and shelve it all, till it eventually expires and is thrown out.
Life is certainly not what it used to be - and it wld have been sad if in 10-12 years I 'de not make any progress. I am not what i used to be - call it learning, or unlearning, or growing up ke side effects.
Sometimes we like new beginnings - new places, fresh slates, clean pasts - sometimes we even get a chance, and sometimes we just gotta make lemonade out of the lemons.
So I leave "myself" with the though - what next ? I need to keep writing, and I need to keep re-discovering that much at least I am sure of.
How, when, where - lets figure out one thing at a time...
And I wonder y - i keep giving myself all sorts of excuses, lack of time, lack of creative inspiration (yeah, like I am some M.F.Husain), lack of privacy, and this and that and what not.
The truth - even i don't really know - bcoz I haven't made the effort to sit and think, and honestly i am just too lazy to do it even now. Anyway the two things that i feel have contributed most are - am impatient mind, and the fear of too many prying eyes, now that I have removed the pseudonyms etc.
I ve even toyed with the idea of having another blog - a proper one, one more suitable to the more mature me... coz honestly there are some entries in this web journal, that when I read after 10 years, are silly and embarrassing.
So, me posting here is a sign that i have decided not to do that - not really. I am on a journey I like to think. I am in a new decade of my life and mayb its a cyclic thing where I have to rediscover myself again. Like cleaning a closet - figure out what I still hold dear, what is irrelevant, admire some and wish I could still fit into it, and look at others and wonder - what the hell was I thinking?
So lets see where it goes........for now I am happy enough just to sit and write something, rather than just toy with ideas in my mind and shelve it all, till it eventually expires and is thrown out.
Life is certainly not what it used to be - and it wld have been sad if in 10-12 years I 'de not make any progress. I am not what i used to be - call it learning, or unlearning, or growing up ke side effects.
Sometimes we like new beginnings - new places, fresh slates, clean pasts - sometimes we even get a chance, and sometimes we just gotta make lemonade out of the lemons.
So I leave "myself" with the though - what next ? I need to keep writing, and I need to keep re-discovering that much at least I am sure of.
How, when, where - lets figure out one thing at a time...
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